My Annual Guide to Reclaiming the Holidays

by Chris K. Hanlon

I love the holiday season. I love the decorations, the music, the food, and especially the traditions. All of these connect us to others and remind us of our heritage. What I detest is the notion that you have to spend, spend, spend--because that just tears us apart.

Sure, if you have more money than you could ever know what to do with, go for it. But most of us--we aren't any where near to having those problems. This I know to be true: [Insert the holiday you celebrate] is every day that you have a roof over your head, food on the table, and people who love you. The terrorists don't win if you spend beyond your means and literally spend the next decade paying off the interest. When families are forced to live paycheck to paycheck so they can keep up with the Joneses, no one wins.

If you sit down and get kids to open up, they really don't want (most) a new bike or the latest video game system. Children want to spend quality time with Mom and Dad. When the urge strikes to go over your budget think about how many late nights you will need to spend at the office to pay for it.

So sit your family down and set expectations. Tell them you want to do things differently this year. Get out the newspaper or hop on the Internet and find things that you can do together--perhaps a night on the town to see The Nutcracker, going to visit the light displays, or even volunteering. Let everyone pick something. Mark your calendar and assign tasks.

If you would like to exchange presents, here are some ideas for keeping things within the spirit of the season and your means:

• Coupons. This was my Mom's favorite and better received than you might think. Gifts of time (a day with you, baby-sitting, errand running, a week of your kid's chores) are always appreciated. Don't forget to put expiration dates and if you like, make some redeemable for a particular time of year when you have more time/money.
• Use your talents. If you love to cook or knit or sew, the ideas are limitless. If you have a knack for music, put together a mix of your favorite songs. Did you take an amazing photo this year? Find an inexpensive frame and presto! If you have a dozen or so you love, make a calendar.
• Write a letter. Not one of those awful over-the-top-my-family-is-better-than-yours-end-of-the-year updates though. Tell someone how you really feel. Let them know you care. It is one of the simplest things to do, yet you'd be surprised how much this can mean to another. Speak from your heart and spelling and grammar won't matter.
• De-clutter. There is nothing wrong with giving a gently-used book if you think the recipient would love it. Ms. Manners and other etiquette experts agree that there is no harm in re-gifting (as long as you don't make the grand faux pas of giving it back to the original gift-giver). In this category you may want to add passing down a treasured heirloom or even a family recipe. Just think of the goose bumps you would get if someone presented you with grandma's pearls or Aunt Ida's eggnog recipe.
• Give Back. Give a gift to your favorite cause (or a cause the recipient believes in) in their name. Most organizations are happy to provide you with a card or letter for the recipient. Plus you may be able to earn a deduction on your taxes (no harm in that). Adopting a family is a great idea too.
• Do their homework. No, don't go digging up an essay so your niece sails through English 101. Here I am thinking about someone on your list that is going on vacation or perhaps moving to a new town. Put together points of interest, restaurants, maps, etc. This could easily be the best thing they ever receive.
• Draw names. This works especially well for big or extended family. Just draw names and set a spending limit.
• It's okay to wish. Don't be afraid to use wish lists. If you have generous family or friends who would like to get presents (especially for the little ones), it is perfectly fine to have a wish list. People who don't have kids are often clueless about what to get, or afraid of getting something the child already has or in the wrong size. Of course, if you do use one, keep it current! Save yourself the hassle of returns.

It is possible to reclaim the holidays and avoid the malls. With a little planning and creativity you (and your wallet) will love the holiday season again too.

The Author

Most recently Chris has entered the curious world that is being the partner of an MBA student. This required her to give up her view of the Golden Gate Bridge for one of Chicago's Millennium Park. It was her 26th move (not that she's counting), and so has decided to write a book on the subject. For more of Chris' adventures, visit her her blog.