Not All Treasure Is Silver And Gold
Why The Pirates of the Caribbean is Priceless
Before I begin my review of The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I want to address those folks out there who might think I am a little obsessed with this movie. I mean, just because I have watched it more than my wedding DVD doesn't prove anything. Just because my New Year's Resolution was to work a line of dialogue from the movie into my lunchtime conversation every day at work doesn't mean I am obsessed.
Oh, who am I kidding? I could watch this movie fifty times (more) in a row and not get tired of it. I still listen to the soundtrack from the film at least once a week. I am starting to know all the lines that even the minor characters say.
So I might be a little biased here. But I am going to review this film anyway because it has one element that, in my universe, could make every movie in the world better.
Animated skeletons.
If all movies had CGI skeletons dancing around and climbing ropes and fighting with swords, I would have to quit my job and do nothing but watch movies for the rest of my days. Of course, in Pirates of the Caribbean, the skeletons are just the cherry on top of the hidden-treasure sundae. This movie surpassed my expectations within the first twenty minutes and kept me pleasantly surprised all the way to the end. And really, with only mild violence and language, it's a movie everyone can enjoy!
In fact, I am pretty sure most of you have probably seen this movie. So I am not going to summarize the plot for you other than to say this: Watch the movie. There are cursed pirates and treasure and witty repartee and blood debts. There are plot twists and turns and a place called "Isla del Muerta" which nobody can find unless they already know where it is. Plus, it's a complete story. You won't have to wait until next Christmas for the second part to come out. And even though it clocks in at just under two and a half hours, the movie seems to move much faster than that. It's all action, all the time. And lastly, for the love of Pete, SKELETONS! WALKING ON THEIR OWN!
Directed by Gore Verbinski, The Pirates of the Caribbean is based on the Disney amusement park ride of the same name. Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio deliver a script worthy of the huge starpower throughout: Johnny Depp plays Captain Jack Sparrow, Geoffrey Rush plays Captain Barbossa, Orlando Bloom plays Will Turner, and Keira Knightley rounds out the star quartet as Miss Elizabeth Swann.
The first thing about this movie that made me realize I had underestimated it is the soundtrack. Klaus Badelt is truly gifted in his ability to make music to swashbuckle to. This music is one hundred percent pirate. Whenever I listen to it I can almost feel the spray of the ocean on my face. And I don't know if the music was written before the swordfights were choreographed, but the pairing of music and swordplay is phenomenal.
The second aspect of the movie that sets it apart is the quality of the actors. Their ability to do believable accents is a big plus. And yes, I realize that most of the cast is actually English. I just really hate when I am all excited about a movie and then the accents are all crappy. From the moment Johnny Depp swaggers on the scene doing his best Keith Richards impersonation, I knew this was going to be a movie I would have to own. Even the secondary characters are fabulous with their comedic timing.
Third, this movie goes all out to make the sets and costumes as rich as Captain Barbossa. If this movie isn't authentic or historically accurate, I haven't noticed. The scenery is beautiful. Just the idea of sitting on a Caribbean island drinking rum on the beach as the blue-green water laps gently against my toes is enough to make me want to watch this movie again right now ... but I am going to try to finish the review first.
(I will interrupt here to mention that as we were watching the movie, my husband and I had a side conversation as to whether Orlando Bloom misses his luxurious blond hair from The Lord of the Rings. I decided that indeed, he probably cries into his pillow longing for his golden tresses every night.)
(One other thing: I wish it were acceptable for me to wear the Captain Jack Sparrow costume to work every day. Somehow I think I would be able to do ANYTHING they asked of me if only I had that hat, those hair jewels, those boots...)
Speaking of the water, there is a "ship-chase" section of the movie that makes me want to be a sailor. Watching these huge boats on the water is amazing. Plus, the cannonball fight between The Black Pearl and The Interceptor that ensues is adrenaline-inducing as the occupants of both ships scream bloody murder at one another just before the cannons fire.
Then, before we can even recover from that battle, the moon has come out to light up the cursed pirates in their true state. Never have CGI skeletons had a prouder moment than during the underwater march and subsequent battle. The one scene in the movie that creeps me out a little is the scene where one of the skeletons gets separated from his arm. No. This cannot be. The rule is as follows: Whole skeletons=Cool. Just a skeleton arm, crawling along by itself=Susan loses her shit. But fortunately that doesn't last very long.
Unfortunately, the disembodied arm scene does mean that the end of the movie is near. I always try to stay strong as the characters come to terms with their challenges in the movie. Will Turner comes to terms with his pirate heritage. Elizabeth Swann gets a pirate of her own. And Captain Jack finally gets his ship.
But best of all, by 2006 we will all get a sequel! Yo ho indeed!
Greatest Moments of the Film:
Major Rico Suave Moment: When Captain Jack Sparrow steps right off of the mast of his sinking ship onto the dock at Port Royal. What an entrance!
Best "Just Bring It!" Moment: Swordfight in the blacksmith shop between Captain Jack and Will Turner. The music, the balancing act, and the smart way Will blocks one of the exit doors makes this my favorite sword fight that does not involve skeletons.
Best Candid Spider Monkey Moment: When Captain Barbossa hands the last remaining Aztec Gold medallion to his monkey, Jack, and the monkey immediately bites the medallion as if it is a tasty monkey treat.
What a Tease! Moment: When Elizabeth leads Will's hand down her cleavage only to reveal the lost Aztec Gold medallion.
Line Most Likely To Have Actually Been Said By Keith Richards: "But why is the rum gone?!?"
Victory Cry That Most Deserves A Comeback: "HUZZAH!! HUZZAH!!"
All the Dorks Cheered When: The final swordfight/battle happens between Commodore Barbossa and Captain Sparrow. If you haven't watched this closely, it's worth another look. The skeleton animation effects as the characters move in and out of the moonlight is better than any I have ever seen. And I consider myself an athority on the animated skeletons...
Moment Worth the Full Price of Admission: Two words: SKELETON MONKEY.