Best-Laid Plans

Like most small-town girls, Lily dreamed big dreams. She gazed out the kitchen window of the double-wide she had grown up in, washing up the dinner dishes and thinking about the roads out of town. She passed gallons of milk and economy packs of disposable diapers over the electronic scanners at Willy's Food Mart day in and day out, pining for bright lights and big cities. She fantasized about being "discovered" while sitting on a stool at the local soda fountain, demurely sipping a chocolate malted a lá Lana Turner. Of course, soda fountains had gone the way of all good things, and she'd have to make adjustments, but to what? Catching the eye of a star-maker while throwing back a 48-ounce Super Sip from the Gas 'n' Go? Not likely.

This particular spring morning, Lily didn't have time for the luxury of daydreams. She was due at work in less than a half-hour and she still hadn't packed the kids' school lunches or gotten a meal on the table for her father, who was due home from his graveyard shift at the pulp mill any minute. She couldn't lose herself even for a moment in her wistful imaginings without feeling a tug on her shirt, "Lil-leeee! Did you forget I like triangles? I can't eat rectangles!"

"Nope," she said almost cheerfully, setting the sandwich aside and starting on another, remembering to cut diagonally this time. "I didn't forget. The first one was for Daddy," she fibbed, hoping he would take it with good grace when he saw that the dinner waiting for him was a cheese sandwich rather than his preferred meat and potatoes. If she had a couple of seconds left over, he might be lucky enough to get a side of barbecue potato chips to go with it. No time for carrot sticks today.

As she heard her father's truck pull up in front of the trailer, she hastily divided the lunch fixings between the plate on the counter and two paper sacks and hurried for the door, calling after her brother and sister, "Come on, you two...we gotta run if we don't wanna be late."

After checking that they both had their backpacks, jackets, and lunches in hand, Lily sent the kids off to climb in the truck and stayed behind to talk to her father. "Dad, are you going to be home this evening? I really need you to keep an eye on the kids."

"Tonight?" He pushed the cap back off his forehead and rubbed his eyes with one big hand. "What's tonight?"

"I clean the bank on Tuesday nights, remember?" she reminded him, already knowing that she was defeated, but persisting anyway. "It goes faster if I don't have to take the kids with me." Then, not wanting to waste time waiting for the excuses she could see he was working on, she conceded, "Never mind, I'll take them with me. They can do their homework or something."

Her father brightened, "See, that's my girl. I knew you'd work it out." He gave her a peck on the cheek and asked, "Food's on the table?"

"Yep," she answered and hurried to the truck before he made it inside to see the cold sandwich and grab bag of chips she'd left for him.

She pulled into the employee lot behind Willy's after dropping the kids off outside the elementary school and hopped out of the truck before the dust she'd raised had a chance to settle. She ran in through the back door, stashed her coat and purse in the lounge, and race-walked to Checkstand Two, where she started her mornings six days of every week. She groaned inwardly when she saw Bryce Martin, who'd graduated high school two years ahead of her and had parlayed family connections into an assistant manager's position, waiting for her. "I unlocked the doors five minutes ago, Lily. Lucky for you none of the old biddies have got this far yet." He gave his clipboard a meaningful glance, then continued, "I suppose I can let it slide this time, though. Just remember you owe me one." He wiggled his brows suggestively with this last, then tried to pass it off as a joke when she remained stone-faced. "Jeez, lighten up, won't ya? You'll scare the customers away."

In high school she would have told him what he could do with his clipboard and innuendoes, but these days she kept her mouth shut and imagined her fingernails clawing the self-satisfied smirk from his face instead of digging into her own palms.

The morning dragged by as weekday mornings so often did. After the initial rush of retirees at opening time, customers straggled in one or two at a time for the rest of the morning, and Lily spent more time during those hours stocking shelves and wiping down dairy cases than she did cashiering. The store did most of its business on weekends and evenings but Lily rarely worked those busy shifts because she had to be home with the kids. Much as it might have pleased her father, there was just no taking them to the store with her.

The high point of the morning was the noon lunch rush when all the high school kids came in to buy their burritos and Cokes and the girls handed their wadded-up dollar bills to her with barely-concealed disdain. She knew what they were thinking. She'd had the same thoughts herself not so many years ago when she'd flounced into the store in her pleated cheerleader's skirt and bought her Diet Cokes and Cool Ranch Doritos from Cindy Mason: What a joke. Spending year after year in this one-horse town getting older and fatter and more pathetic. Turned out the joke was on her, and now Cindy Mason was the senior cashier who never missed an opportunity to put Lily in her place.

Remember what they say about best-laid plans, chickies, Lily wanted to say to the girls in front of her now, but she just took their money with a small smile.

Once the schoolkids were all taken care of, it was finally time for Lily to take her own lunch break and all she wanted to do was get away from the store, even if only for a half-hour. She left her apron in the backroom and hummed a little to herself as she walked out back and climbed into the truck. She backed out of the lot and turned left onto Main Street, absent-mindedly eating potato chips from the bag she'd left open on the seat. Stopped at a red light with the windows rolled down, she sang loudly along with the radio. She sang every chance she got. She never knew who might be listening, and Lily dreamed big dreams.