Life Cycle

by Julie Miller

Childhood
Perfect home
Perfect family
Perfect friends
Perfect fun
Perfect freedom
Perfectly frustrated with rules.
If only I could be a grown-up...

I want to stay up late.
I want to go places I'm not allowed.
I want to eat what I want when I want.
I want to play with whom I want for as long as I want.

High School
Perfect grades
Perfect family (so it seems)
Perfect hair
Perfect manners
Perfect teeth (in progress)
Perfectly lacking in self-confidence.
If only I could be beautiful...

I want the cute boys to like me.
I want to be admired by the popular girls.
I want to have dates for the football games.
I want to lose twenty pounds, my braces, and my virginity.

College (the imperfect years)
Late nights
Drinking games
Three passionate relationships
Interspersed with rebound flings
Old friends scattered
New friends coming and going
Family falling apart at the seams
Grades falling
Money tight
Having the time of my life.
Perfectly out of control.
If only I could have stability...

I want security.
I want someone to love me and take care of me forever.
I want no stress of exams and papers due.
I want a steady job, a husband, and a home.

Marriage (the early years)
Perfect husband
Perfect job
Perfect home
Perfect in-laws
Perfect progress
Perfectly maternal longings.
If only I could have a baby...

I want a child to nurture.
I want to be a mommy.
I want to give my husband a son.
I want to do everything right that my mother did wrong.

Motherhood
Perfect babies!
Perfect home
Perfect Daddy
Perfect neighbors
Perfect "Leave It to Beaver" Cleaver lifestyle.
Perfectly bored beyond belief.
If only I could have something to stimulate my mind...

I want to talk to grown-ups again.
I want to wear something other than jeans and sweats.
I want to spend my mornings doing something besides cleaning.
I want to spend my evenings doing something other than cooking and watching TV.

Marriage, Motherhood, More college (oh my) Perfect family
Perfect grades
Perfect home (well, it used to be)
Perfect career path
Perfect health (close enough)
Perfectly trapped.
If only I could be free...

I want to stay up late.
I want to go places I'm not allowed.
I want to eat what I want when I want.
I want to play with whom I want for as long as I want.

Will I ever be satisfied?