Where is the Girl?

by Deidre Abrahamsson

That climbed
like a monkey,
who smoked
cigarettes secretly,
with abandon,
that gave her
first kiss,
and more
at fourteen,
that dreamed
of being an
ice princess,
that sculpted
Greek statues
out of snow
and stored them
in the freezer,
that crept
through cemeteries
rubbing headstones,
captivated by
names and dates,
that sat amidst
the stacks at the library
poring through
Hollywood history
and stories of the occult,
who dreamed of
reading tarot cards
and starring in plays,
that fantasized
about getting angry
and exploding
in your face,
that fell down
the steps
and tore ligaments
in the sand,
that passed out
in a room of fire
someone else
putting out
the smoke,
that ran and hid
from the bad man
and feared
he would come back,
that lay in
the street
with silver
rollerskates
strapped to her
sneakers
to see what would
happen if a car
passed over her,
that cheated
on her current events
homework,
who dreamed
of reading
every book
in the library
and barely made
a dent,
that pleaded with
you to love
her and
then finally
you did.

Where is that girl?
I'm still here.

The Author

A New Yorker living in Gothenburg, Sweden, Deirdre Abrahamsson writes everything from poetry to fiction to personal essay--when she is not helping organize World Championship and Olympic events. In addition to regularly contributing to Mosaic Minds, she has been published in Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul and SiglaMag.