Fears and Phobias
Animal Eye
She's sitting curled
like a cat
with a book
in one cold hand
and she knows he's looking
but she pretends he's not
and keeps on
reading until
she looks up
and is pinned
becoming a butterfly
under the pads of his
enormous feet
and he gives her
that animal eye
while she struggles
to look away.
Fear Joint
by Verian Thomas
Side by side in our bed
we look up into the dark
towards the ceiling and listen
to rats scratch and scrape,
underneath the covers
we hold hands and wonder
if sleep will ever arrive
and we drift,
until silence
stirs us and we wait
for the comfort of knowing
they're still up there,
the rats, not in the room
with us.
In the morning I climb
out of the window
and look into the eaves
where a swallow is building
its home inside ours.
Ode to an Epilepsy Diagnosis
by Steph Bairey
My husband may have a seizure any time now
he looks healthy
he feels normal
he acts manly
but inside that mysterious brain
what demon hovers to steal him from me?
He doesn't remember the seizures
the bodily indignities
the subhuman noises
the animal battle
but I watch them and fear them
a person reduced to mindless responses from inside
He wants to live his life like it was before
climbing mountains
working hard
driving himself
but I cringe at the danger he faces
more terrified myself than he ever is
Our life will go on albeit differently
more naps
more pills
more caution
but my fear for him and myself
will have to be conquered first
Seizures are an unknowable enemy
when will one strike?
where will one strike?
why will one strike?
but he is eager to live again
and I will vanquish my fears for both of us
Epilepsy, you think you've got us now
fear of hazards
fear of losing him
fear of change
but our life will go on despite you
and when I defeat fear, I will have defeated you.
Little Sister
by Lina Rehal
Dressed up in my clothes,
she stomped around the house
in my high heeled shoes, wearing my lipstick
and dots of rouge I dabbed on her cheeks
so she could be like her big sister.
She spent hours in my bedroom,
listening to my records,
playing with my perfume bottles,
going through my jewelry box,
asking questions, observing my every move,
being the little sister.
I wound her hair in curlers
and polished her tiny fingernails.
We played Candyland and Old Maid.
She invited me to tea parties in the back yard.
I taught her how to make potholders.
We fed ducks by the pond
and threw scraps of our dinner
at the hungry gulls on Revere beach.
We rode the flying horses at the church carnival.
I took her to the playground
and pushed her on the swings.
Eating butterscotch sundaes,
we watched Elvis in Blue Hawaii.
She was my little flower girl,
proud of me on my wedding day,
sad that I was leaving home.
We look back at those days often,
finding humor in our own private jokes;
things between sisters.
"Do you remember the time...?" she asks.
"Yes, little sister. I remember."
White
by Sandra C. Herbert
Being allusive--
hiding the truth
keeping all decisions mine.
Blanketing me,
dancing seductively
in a choreographed
spontaneous way.
Revealing my light,
only my light
But my darkness shines through--
Does my darkness shine through?
You inspire me,
appeal to me.
It's the way you shine
and the way you have no idea that you do.
Color Me Afraid
by Chris Patterson
In the green grass of the
neighborhood park,
there are times when
the light reveals the shadows
it has left behind.
Even the blue sky color of
broad daylight can carry
its tint.
The streaky violet, orange
and blue of a stunning
sunset can fade to a
violence that's as stunning
in its absurdity as in
its senselessness.
The dark of night becomes
the dead of night
under its influence.
Within the deep, blue end of the pool
the predator's theme runs
through your mind.
You may think the
color of money would
keep you safe, but
gold and silver only
give it strength.
You wake up
and breathe it.
You lie down
and dream of it.
It's there, crawling
on the back of
your neck.
It's there, gnawing
at the pit of
your stomach.
Here is a fear so pervasive,
it is only made remarkable
by its absence.