What Do You Mean By That?

by Jana Johnson

Yes/No/Maybe--these words are probably the most frustrating and misunderstood words in the English language. On the surface it may seem like their meaning is obvious. Any two-year-old will tell you that "no" means you can't, "yes" means you can and "maybe" means beg a little harder. Adults know well that these definitions are incorrect. How can I say such a thing? Well, I blame it the little-known region I grew up in. Eastern Washington state is a quirky area ... it's a place where people say things like "Warshington," "jockey box," and "they seen can peaches on sale at Safeways." It's a place where the words "friendly" and "friendship" have little connection. It's also an area where the words "yes," "no," and "maybe" have a whole new meaning.

Let's start with "yes." The word "yes" actually means "probably." This leaves the door open to fully renege upon that yes if something better comes along. For example, if it's a good day to head out to the lake or the person finds him- or herself wanting to just watch bad television, he or she has no obligation to fulfill the previously given "yes." "Yes" is by no means an acceptance of required action by the yesser. The yessee has to just sit around and hope for the best, or rather the worst in the weather department. Fulfilling business needs can be frustrating and entertaining is downright haphazard. Fifteen acceptances of an invitation could mean a rolicking bash of 30 or an intimate dinner for three. Host at your own peril.

Next, we'll look at "maybe." In almost all cases, "maybe" should be treated as an outright "no." If someone accepts an invitation with a "maybe," no further arrangements are needed. This also true in the business arena. A "maybe" should be interpreted as "we'll get to it on the twelfth ... the twelfth of never." There are exceptions, of course, and a "maybe" could turn into a "yes," given the right circumstances. Weather is a big factor, as most are loathe to leave the comforts of home or office during any type of inclement weather. Another big factor is the type of clothing required. The more formal the attire, the less likely that "maybe" will become a full-fledged "yes." There are also obvious personal benefits, social status, alternate options, and amount of time immersed in eastern Washington culture to be factored into the calculations of the "yes" versus "no" probability equation. Background knowledge is the key here. So is a degree in statistics.

Finally, the "no." This word is rarely heard, since "maybe" is the equivalent of "no." If a "no" is given, however, do not assume that it has a negative meaning. Many times the "no" will become a "yes" because the no-er can now display his or her "friendliness" by doing the no-ee a favor. For example, if asked to perform some business task, the no-er removes all task pressure by saying "no." Later, the no-er can perform the task and can inform the no-ee that he or she "was able to get to that task after all," thus proving the no-er's admiration and respect for the no-ee. This reasoning also accounts for sudden, unexpected attendance at parties, weddings, and so forth.

Are these three little words really the most misunderstood in our language? Probably not. But in my little corner of the world, there's a lot more to understanding what's been said than a simple dictionary definition.

The Author

When Jana was nine years old, her grandparents gave her a dime-store diary for Christmas. New Year's Eve, she stayed up 'til midnight to write the first entry. That night started off a love of storytelling and writing that still flourishes. She lives with her two birds and teaches high school English on the coast of Washington state.