My Maybe Man

I am not a "maybe" person. I don't appreciate wishy-washy answers or unsure plans. That's not to say that I'm not spontaneous, because I definitely am, or that plans can't be changed, because that's half the fun of making them! Still, nobody I know would call me indecisive. So it never fails to amaze me how I ended up marrying a "maybe" man.

I have visions of men being big and burly with strapping arms, gleaming smiles (and good breath because that's always important), and a decisive manner. My husband is tall and muscular but nobody would call him burly. He does have a very nice smile and, most of the time, fresh breath as well. But he cannot make a decision to save his life.

A case in point is parking. I remember one time in particular that his inability to make a decision nearly made me insane. We were at Ikea and I just needed to run in and buy some small thing. I had promised that I wouldn't browse, just run in and out. It was a sunny day and we had the dogs with us in the car and as we drove through the massive, and crowded, parking lot he kept passing by empty spaces. I fought hard to bite my tongue and just let him have his way, but in the end my tongue was hurting and we were still going in circles. So I started pointing out the parking spots in case, for some reason, he hadn't seen them. But one after the other he continued to pass them by. I was irritated, hot, and feeling nauseous from driving in circles. So I hollered at him, "Will you PLEASE make up your mind!" I told him to find a parking spot or go home because I was sick of driving around.

I shouldn't have given him the choice because he chose to go home. Humph! Then I was mad and it was my own dumb fault. He was mad that I'd yelled at him. He had been concerned about the dogs being in the heat and that's why he kept passing the available parking spots. If he had explained that to me at the time, my mind may not have been so frantic--but for heaven's sake, he wasn't going to shop with me so he could have parked near the grass and taken the dogs for a short walk while I was running into the store! That's how my mind works, anyhow. Obviously he has a different thought process.

My philosophy is that you just go with your gut and see how things work out. His philosophy is to wait and see how things go and then try to make the best decision according to the circumstances. Of course, I do sometimes regret a decision I made, but I don't beat myself up over it because I'm also proud of myself for having the courage to just step out and take a chance. My husband calls me impulsive and sometimes careless. I tell him he is dispassionate and living on the fence.

He drives me nuts. I make him shake his head and wonder. But at least when it really matters to him he can come through with a definitive answer, like when he decided I was the woman for him. Strangely enough, though we confront the world in totally opposite ways, we still tend to come together and agree when it's important.

So even if he can't decide which soda he wants or what tires to put on the car or what to do with a lazy Sunday afternoon, he does love me. And that we're both sure of.