Transformation From Teacher to Writer

by Katrina Martin

If they ever write a story about me in Poets & Writers magazine, the headline should read, "Woman Transforms from Student Teacher to Published Author in Three Months." It's funny that this is just such an article about my transformation and that's not the headline. It's too long anyway. But yes, I did perform this amazing feat. I didn't think my life would turn out this way, though, and going through the transformation was one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I experienced confusion, doubt, fear, nausea, restless nights, headaches, excitement, joy, a sense of accomplishment and confidence.

Let's step back a bit and get the full story. First, I have bachelor's degrees in both English and Journalism, and already had experience writing professionally before I took the leap and made it my full-time occupation. After graduation, I worked as a reporter for a year. It didn't hold my interest and I quit the newspaper to pursue a teaching degree. Last fall, I entered the teaching program at the University of Colorado at Denver and initially I put my heart and soul into the classes, soaking up information like a sponge and finding inspiration in the knowledge I gained. Somewhere toward the end of the fall semester, my enthusiasm waned, and by spring, I just wanted to be done.

Don't get me wrong - I enjoyed working with the students at the elementary school where I interned. Those students and the friends I'd made in the program gave me the fuel to continue. But as the classes wore on, the teachers seemed to be saying a lot of the same things, and I just wanted to get out in the "real world" and student teach.

When I finally attained the title of student teacher, I realized that teachers have one of the hardest jobs in the world. It's teaching, parenting and baby-sitting during the day, parents, colleagues and meetings in the afternoon, and planning, planning and planning at night. It never ends. Teachers do not use their evenings and weekends for recreation - they use them for grading and planning. Their summers usually involve planning as well as more university classes. I saw my future and it didn't look pretty.

By the time I completed my student teaching, I had a strong feeling that teaching was not for me. I couldn't tell a soul - I thought my parents would freak out, my friends in the program would look down on me, and my fiancé would wonder who the hell he'd gotten himself involved with.

So, I kept my feelings secret. Mostly. I'd started writing children's poems during boring moments in class. When visiting my fiancé in California, I'd even attempted to write a children's picture book. Several of my colleagues in the program had read my poems and praised them, but no one had yet read the book. I tucked it away, a little bit excited but too embarrassed to show it.

In July my program ended, my fiancé moved to Colorado, and my life came to a point of change. I could either pursue a teaching position for the fall, or embark upon a completely different path. I had several crying fits, restless nights and a knotted stomach. Eventually I decided I had to take the leap into freelancing and one evening I sat in my recliner and let it all out. My fiancé listened patiently, and when I finished I braced myself for a big sigh and a speech about practicality. I got neither. He said if that's what it would take to make me happy, he'd back me one hundred percent. A huge weight lifted, and I knew that moment marked the beginning of my glorious journey into writing.

The next day, instead of writing, I bought a package of my favorite pens (Pilot Precise Rolling Ball V7 fine) and three notebooks. I bought books on writing and the 2003 Children's Writer's and Illustrator's Market. Then I sat down and read for a week straight. I didn't write, though. I procrastinated for fear I wouldn't be any good.

After devouring all the titles I'd bought, I found I had to get myself into a routine and write. I woke up the next morning, groggy and grumpy, and set to writing. I quickly gave up. It was awful. I put off writing for a few more days. Then a friend recommended Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. One passage demanded I drop the book and start writing. I did, and I've never looked back.

I pulled out the children's book manuscript I'd written in March and gave it new life. I rewrote the sentences, taking cues and advice from the books I'd read. It jumped off the page, the details creating vivid images in my mind. I felt confident that I had a manuscript worth submitting. Luckily, my teaching connections came in handy and I read the book to several classes at the elementary school where I'd student taught. I got an excellent response. I decided it was time to find the book a publisher.

About this time, I also launched my web site, Feisty Scribe, which includes my online journal. The third entry to the journal described my feelings of fear and excitement about my first submission. I'd never sent a manuscript to a publisher, never written a children's picture book and never thought I'd live my dream of writing full-time. Over the course of the next two months, I discussed the trials and tribulations of my writing in my online journal. I became brave, emailing other women writers I admired, and found several good friends. I called up an editor at a newspaper I'd worked for years before and got included on his list of freelancers. Since August, I've been published in eight publications, got my gig with this fine 'zine, started my own freelance editing business and started drawing greeting cards. Oh, and got a book published.

I still can't write that sentence without it feeling completely surreal. After I had waited only two months, the publishing company's editor wrote to me and said they'd like to publish my manuscript. I called everyone I could think of, then went out for sushi and celebration. I never expected this to happen! I have heard the statistic that out of every 10,000 children's book manuscripts submitted, three get published. This isn't an established fact, but it is indeed rare to get a children's book published. Sometimes I think it must be happening to someone else. It has been my dream since I was ten years old to have a book published, and look at me now. I've had to readjust my goals and come up with other accomplishments I'd like to attain. Not everyone can realize her dreams as quickly as I was able to, but I do believe that if people put their minds to it, they can achieve anything. That's the key - believing you can do it. It wasn't until I believed I could be successful at writing that I found any success. And now the floodgates have opened. I can't wait to see what comes through next.