Enter Insanity

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We've heard the question a million times. If you're like me you've given a million different answers. I've wanted to be an architect, zoologist, pharmacist, librarian, doctor, teacher, actress, country star, and heiress. But really, none of those things set me on fire. None of them made my heart jump like a girl who knows she's about to be asked out by the hottest guy in school. None of them would help me accomplish my heart's desire.

You see, I have a real dream. A dream that doesn't involve draft boards, elephant tranquilizers, vials of chemicals, or chalkboards. It's a dream that I've kept locked up in my heart for many, many years because I was afraid of it. I was afraid that if I shared my dream with someone, the dream would somehow shatter and become impossible. People would laugh at me or roll their eyes. Many "yeah, rights" would be tossed my direction.

Fear held me back. I didn't want anyone to know my secret passion. I held the dream so tightly that I became paralyzed. Fear weighed me down. Fear of failure. Fear of success. And of course, the ever present adolescent fear of being perceived as stupid.

The dream? To be an author.

I would sit down at the keyboard, stare at my blank monitor and feel my chest constricting. How do authors create a lasting piece of literature--something entertaining, something with a message, something with characters who leap off the page? Those were the questions I couldn't answer. Those were the questions that burned in my soul. Those were the questions that I couldn't even begin to guess the answers to.

All that changed in November of last year. I wrote a novel (not a published novel, and probably not even a very good novel, but it was a novel!). I did it by doing the only thing an author can do: I sat down and I wrote. That's the big secret. Writers write. I think I may have just earned a Pulitzer with that statement.

So what was so special about last November?

NaNoWriMo!

Na-nu na-wha? Huh?

Nation Novel Writing Month is the key to many would-be authors' dreams of writing a novel. Chris Baty came up with the notion in 1999--get a group together, set-up a website, and churn out a 50,000 word novel during a single month. You can read a more complete history here.

It sounds impossible doesn't it? I thought it would be. I laughed at myself when I signed up.

But it really, really works. There are thousands of people taking part in this insane experiment, so there's always someone on the forums willing to offer support or distraction. You can constantly update your word count so you can actually see your progress, a very motivating element for a visual person like myself.

Most important, the speed makes it impossible to agonize over each and every word. The basic philosophy boils down to four simple words: Write now, edit later. It doesn't matter if the words sparkle, if the characters tend toward the two dimensional or if the setting is inconsistent. All of that can be taken care of later. Seeing the little word counter hit 50,000 by November 30 is the only thing that matters.

As crazy as it sounds, this method worked! I can now say I'm a novelist. Writing consistently every single day taught me that being a real, live author doesn't involve any kind of magical hocus pocus. I don't need to be some sort of super intelligent guru who always knows the right words. I just need to put finger to keyboard and get busy!

In many ways NaNoWriMo has changed my life. I have a newfound confidence to chase my dreams. The fear is still there, but it's no longer crippling. I may not be the next J. K. Rowling, but I'm much more likely to become a published author if I'm actually writing instead of wishing I were writing.

Sign-ups for the 2004 NaNoWriMo are going on right now! I hope to see you there.