He Had Me From LOL

It was a drizzly, gray day, which didn't help my growing sense of dread. Perhaps sunshine would have helped dry up the puddles of despair that were overwhelming me. I was one week away from beginning my second year of teaching high school English after a first year that had left me battered and broken. The thought of continuing down that hazardous career path was unthinkable, but what else could I do? I asked myself that question innumerable times. I had debt coming out my ears and I needed to work. I had a job. I couldn't quit. I felt trapped. I'd spent four long years working on my degree. How could I give it all up? How could I face all those people who told me I would hate teaching?

My only refuge during my first year of teaching was a tight-knit internet group that I'd been involved in for several years. We started out as a book discussion group, but were soon sharing each other's joys and sorrows. I knew more about most of our members than I knew about any of my "real life" friends. I was in a black humor on that fateful day and turned to my friends with an insane plea that I knew would get a few laughs but wouldn't help solve my problems.

I proposed marriage.

I didn't care who I married, as long as he had the money to afford a stay-at-home wife. I promised to cook and do laundry in exchange for freedom from my career. It was a joke and everyone knew it. There simply were no eligible men in our little community. They were all too young, too old, too married or too far away.

As expected, my plea for a husband led to a lot of laughter and sympathy, but no husband was forthcoming.

Sure, there was some Swedish guy I barely knew who said he'd take me up on the offer, but of course he wasn't serious. Sweden? Weren't there polar bears there?

For the next six months my Swedish "fiance" and I traded flirtations and coyly invited friends to our wedding. Our courtship was public and no one, least of all ourselves, believed anything serious was happening. We'd never even e-mailed each other.

Then the Swede downloaded ICQ, a popular instant message program.

A simple "hello" led to a four-hour conversation about absolutely nothing. It was love at first LOL.

Within three weeks my "fiance" had plane tickets to Oregon. Frankly, I was shell-shocked and not a little dismayed. I was terrified. What if he was a serial killer? What if I took one look at him and vomited? More likely, what if he took one look at me and vomited? I had very little hope that this whole "meeting a weirdo from the internet" thing could possibly work. I finished out the school year in a hazy cloud of disbelief. Angry parents didn't bother me. Essays with no thesis statements couldn't faze me. I had a Swede on the way and I had no idea what I was going to do with him.

Finally August rolled around again. A year after my initial plea for a husband I was meeting the sole respondent for the first time. I didn't tell anyone about our meet-up. I had no idea how to explain it to people so I simply didn't. I was living eight hours away from my family and had no close friends, so it was an easy secret to keep.

In my one concession to security I took a page out of Silence of the Lambs and left information about my killer. I thought a picture frame was too risky of a spot to hide important information, so settled for a note in the bottom of my silverware drawer. If he murdered me he'd never think to look there, but when my mom cleaned out my apartment she'd surely find it and a devious serial killer would be brought to justice.

Yes, I read too much.

Yes, I'm actually probably really stupid.

But none of that matters!

My mystery Swede didn't murder me. Instead, he turned out to be the perfect man. If I had placed an order directly with God I couldn't have found a better match. Thankfully he agreed and our relationship was on. Over the course of the next year he visited me four times. The next September I moved to Sweden and found that living north of the Arctic Circle in a country with a different language was every bit as challenging as teaching high school, but it didn't matter. I had found something I never expected--love!

We've officially been together for five years now and are still going strong. We had a lovely wedding two years ago and are expecting our first child this year. I used to dream of going back in time and telling my old self to make different choices. I would have done just about anything for an opportunity to go back in time and convince myself not to become a teacher. I am so glad that was never an option. If I had been happy with my life I would never have made that insane plea. Without that plea I would never have met my husband.