Man's Other Best Friend

I'm a dog person, no two ways about it. I like cats, too, but not at all in the same way. For instance, I don't stop in the middle of the street exhorting my husband, "Just look at that cat!" I wouldn't watch a cat show on television. And I can't imagine myself buying a "Pretty Kitties" calendar and hanging it on my wall. That said, I've had many more cats in my life than dogs, and I'm nearly always open to the possibility of adding another to the mix.

The thing about cats is, the more I have, the more I want. I think it was Ernest Hemingway who said, "One cat just leads to another," and this has been undeniably true for me. It starts out innocently enough. Finding myself catless for one reason or another (this has happened exactly twice in my life, but I digress ...), I think, It would be nice to have a kitten. So I go kitten shopping. Of course, where there's one kitten, there's bound to be two or three or four kittens and I think, It would be nice for the kitten to have a friend, so I go home with two kittens.

And it is nice to have a kitten and it is nice for the kitten to have a friend, and we're all happy as clams. Time passes and the kittens turn into cats, and while I love them, it's hard to deny that kittens have a special appeal. After a while I start to think, It would be nice to have a kitten, and make the argument to my husband that really, three cats isn't much different from two. He reluctantly agrees, so I go kitten shopping. Upon finding a kitten, I think It would be nice for the kitten to have a friend, and I say to my husband, "Really, four cats aren't any more trouble than three." I see in his face that he's not convinced, so I promise to take over litter-box duties and I go home with two kittens.

More time passes and the new kittens turn into cats, and you see where this is going. The most cats I've ever had as an adult is six, and I have to say that having six cats is no different from having four cats. Really. This is where it starts to get tricky, actually. Say you've got six cats. Six. If you added another you'd have seven. Anyone can see that seven cats is more or less the same as six. You're already buying a whole lot of cat food and kitty litter and there's already a snoozing cat camped out on most pieces of furniture in your house. You'd hardly notice one more. Or two, even.

Dogs are different. They're sort of self-limiting. Any rational person knows you can have only so many dogs before it gets out of hand. One dog is good. Two dogs is better. Three is pushing it, and four is clearly too many. I've had one dog. I've had two dogs, and I've had three dogs. Diehard dog lover that I am, I've never considered getting a fourth dog. It's a no-brainer.

But cats... it's such a fine line between "not enough cats" and "too many cats." After one hectic kitten-filled summer in my teen years, I can tell you without a doubt that seventeen cats is too many. (Don't ask. You don't want to know, seriously.) But sixteen? Still too many, I grant, but what about twelve? We've already established that eight is manageable, right? So going up to ten or twelve shouldn't be much of a stretch. Thirteen? Eeeeeehhhh... hard to say. But really, what's the difference between twelve and thirteen?

See what I mean? There's a whole lot of grey area there.

These days we're a three-cat household (with two dogs and three kids, just for the record), but lately I've been getting that itch again. Four cats is absolutely do-able. I've done it plenty of times. I was just checking out the local classified-ad website, and I found an adorable little calico kitty that needs a home. I think maybe a fourth cat is just what we need.

It would be nice for the kitten to have a friend, though.