Just a small neighbour...?

by Songül Arslan

This issue's theme is about self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is difficult when an individual constantly compares himself with others. Yet that is what people constantly do. People compare themselves on the smallest levels with others. More often than not these comparisons result in depressing thoughts like: "Her dark, curly hair is so beautiful, I wish my blond, sleek hair was just like that." And vice versa. Inevitably comparisons result in a view in which somebody is regarded as being superior to another who is doing the comparison.

People aren't the only ones who engage in these comparision games. Corporations are just as guilty as individuals. Benchmarking is a perfect example of the tools corporations use to compare themselves to each other. This happens because corporations strive to have characteristics of each other. Individuals compare hair, eyes, noses, mouths, everything. Corporations compare things like strategy, the pay of employees, initiatives, output, stock value and more.

One definition of benchmarking is "the process of determining who is the very best, who sets the standard, and what that standard is." http://management.about.com/cs/benchmarking/a/Benchmarking.htm

Does this not sound familiar to people who have difficulty accepting who they are and are constantly looking to others for approval?

What's even more striking is that countries do the same. Countries compare themselves constantly with each other. In my opinion it happens especially with neighbouring countries that differ incredibly in size. One example is a small country like The Netherlands compared to a neighbour like Germany. On a map, The Netherlands would seem no more than a province of Germany and I am afraid that outside of a historical component, The Netherlands sees this difference in size as a threat. In a way this is understandable but on the other hand, where would The Netherlands be without this gargantuan neighbouring country? Most of the exports of The Netherlands are heading to Germany. Would you then think the relationship between these two countries was based on a comparison of superiority versus inferiority? I don't think there would be any reason for this to happen.

The same goes for Argentina and Uruguay. Argentina is a much bigger country (in size as well as in inhabitants) than Uruguay. Uruguay, locked up between the giants Brazil and Argentina, feels small and inferior. I remember a Uruguayan waiter who once had told me that he would have rather seen his country annexed by Argentina than as a different entity like it now is. He was convinced that his country was insignificant for Argentina as well as other big neighbouring countries like Brazil. But what I heard from some Argentineans is that they don't regard Uruguay as insignificant but more as a small brother. There was no patronizing intended in this sentiment.

What does this tell us? In reality, countries do have the same kind of feelings of inferiority that individual humans posses. It tells us that a small Gross Domestic Product (GDP) can invoke the same feelings for countries as small lips or a big nose can for a person. Of course, countries consist of people and their feelings. If people would start accepting the little things about themselves, it would show in the bigger picture as well.