Grrrl Pick
Jennifer Whiteford is the kind of woman I've always wanted to be: smart, funny, confident, irreverent, socially and politically aware ... and a published novelist. That last is the big buzz around Jennifer these days. Her debut novel, Grrrl, was released this spring to positive reviews and the ensuing readings and book tours have been keeping her plenty busy.
I know Jennifer through our blogs, and I couldn't wait to read her book when it came out. At first I considered doing a review for my book column, but after I read it I wanted to know more about the story behind the story, so to speak. I figured I'd go straight to the source, and asked Jennifer to be the subject of a "Chick Pick" interview. She agreed, and here you have it!
It's probably best to get the details out of the way first so we can get on to the juicier stuff. Jennifer Whiteford is 30 years old ("but I'm told I look like I'm 15½," she says), works as a daycare licensing advisor, and lives in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She maintains a website called Matildazine, a name that might be a bit confusing for some, since it reads more like a personal blog than an e-zine. I'd wondered about this myself, so I asked Jennifer to explain.
MM: "Tell us about Matilda Zine ... where did you get the idea? When and how did you start? How has the project grown and changed since its inception?"
JW: "I've made print zines for about fifteen years. When I was in high school I was always writing and trying to get big literary magazines to publish my stories, but of course that didn't happen. Zines were a great way to cut down on all that rejection. I could publish things myself, add lots of weird humour and rough collages, and give it to my friends who loved it. It was a great way to keep myself interested in writing."
"When I moved to Ottawa in 1999 I was coming out of a crappy break-up and living in a city where I didn't know very many people. I really needed projects to keep me from drinking gin in the bathtub every night. So first I learned to quilt and then I started a new zine*. I had been using Matilda as a kind of all-purpose pseudonym at that time, so I decided to use it as the title of the zine. It is an homage to Roald Dahl's character of the same name. One of the best kids books EVER!"
"I did the zine for a few years and in 2003 my friend Jim Munroe asked if I wanted to be a part of this indie writers tour he was organizing. I figured if I was going to go on tour I should have a website. Matildazine.org started out as a collection of my zine writings but quickly morphed into an oft-updated chronicle of my life. I've gained a lot of new readers by being online, but sometimes I do feel sad that it has all but replaced the creation of actual paper zines."
"*Tangent! I've always thought of quilting and zine making as very similar pursuits. Both involve cutting materials into pieces and using them to create something newer and more interesting. Both require a good eye for detail and both have been used to empower marginalized communities."
So we've established that Jennifer is a writer from way back, but it's a pretty big leap from putting together your own zines to writing a full-length novel and getting it published. I asked her to take us through the process, starting with the writing itself.
JW: "I started fooling around with the novel in 2000 after I'd been to the first Ladyfest women's music and art festival in Olympia, WA. Going to that festival was like a re-awakening for me. It reminded me about why I loved the music and zines of the riot grrrl movement. Being in a tiny town that was suddenly overrun by thousands of young, punky, feminist women made me feel really validated. I realized there would be an audience for a novel about that particular scene. And as far as I knew, no one had written anything like it before."
"The writing itself was a roller coaster of enthusiasm and despair. I was going to school and working the whole time I was trying to write. If I had to be at work at 10 AM, I'd make sure I got up at 7 so I could write while I ate breakfast. Sometimes it was really hard to get going. I used some of my own diary entries from that era as a guide. And if I was really stuck I'd put on some music and force myself to write a scene where I used the song lyrics as part of the narrative."
MM: "So, you worked on Grrrl for quite a while before it was published. How long did it all take, from start to finish?"
JW: "The whole process of writing the book and having it published took six years. I really had no idea what I was doing, having never written a book before. I also didn't have a lot of time to write. Plus I didn't know how I would ever get it published when I'd finally finished it."
"I was really fortunate to get put on that indie writers tour that I mentioned before. On that tour I met Sean Carswell from Gorsky Press. I was reading excerpts from the book while I was touring but I still hadn't finished it. Sean liked it and told me to send it to him when I was finished. That tour and the reaction I got to the idea of the novel really spurred me on to finish it so when I got home I worked like crazy to get it done."
"I sent the first draft to ten friends of mine so they could edit it and give me their suggestions. Sean was one of those friends. He loved the book and wanted to publish it but didn't have room on his Gorsky Press roster. I was pretty bummed out about that. I wanted to work with Gorsky because I knew that Sean and his cohorts would know exactly what I was getting at with the book. Plus they are excellent editors and I knew they'd challenge me and help me make the book better. I found myself strongly wishing that somehow they'd be able to publish the book anyway."
"Then, the day after the American election [in 2004], Sean called me. I asked him why he was calling and he said he wanted me to help him move to Canada now that George Bush had been re-elected. Then he said no, he was just kidding. What he really wanted was to publish my book. Another writer had decided not to have Gorsky publish his book and so they had a space for me. I was so happy and shocked that after we hung up all I could do was laugh."
MM: "Looking back from the other side, is there anything you would do differently? Do you have any advice for the rest of us aspiring novelists?"
JW: "As far as things I would do differently ... it's hard to say. I think I would have believed in the book more as I was writing it. Having never written a book before, it was hard to envision the end product, so I sometimes had a hard time feeling fully dedicated to it. As women, I think, we're taught to be overly modest. I think we feel odd even thinking things like, 'I am writing a great and important work of literature.' If we believe in our own unfinished projects we can make them better and better."
"I guess that leads well into my advice for other novelists. The first thing is obvious: write! You'd be surprised how many people want to be writers but they don't write. I'm one person who is guilty of holding off writing something because I want it to be perfect. I start writing something and if it doesn't come out perfect I get discouraged and want to stop. Don't let yourself stop. No one writes brilliantly their first try. Everyone has to write a whole bunch of crap before they write one good thing. Writing all that crap is an easy way to teach yourself what not to write."
"As far as writing something book-length, don't marry yourself to one idea and one plot too early on. Allow your writing to take you in different directions. Some ideas sound like they'd make great novels, but they actually fall flat when you try to put them into practice. If you are flexible with your writing, you will find yourself more enthusiastic about what you're actually writing. Because you have to love it. If you don't love it, you won't want to write it."
"To get published, the best thing you can do is network. With the internet this is getting easier and easier. Meeting and talking to other writers is the best way to eventually connect with a publisher or a distributor. And remember that the best way to connect with other writers is to be a writer yourself. I think it's pretty rare that someone gets their novel published without ever having anything else published first. Write about what you know and what you love. Write for the magazines you like to read, make zines, blog, write plays, do whatever you can to get published in as many places as possible."
"And don't take rejection personally. This will kill your writing confidence, and confidence is key."
The back cover of Grrrl gives this summary:
Teenaged Marlie doesn't always know what she's looking for, but she knows it can't be found in her dreary suburban high school. As Marlie struggles with nasty classmates, sexual confusion, and the trials of starting her own band, she pours her thoughts and frustrations into her ever-present diary. As high school progresses, Marlie's rock star dreams and curious crushes lead her into an underground world of punk rock, riot grrrls, and a dangerous relationship with an older indie rocker. Set in the suburbs of Toronto, Grrrl is a tender and beautiful novel about the pains of growing up.
MM: "Let's talk a little about the story itself ... there's an obvious autobiographic feel to it--is Marlie you?"
JW: "No, Marlie is not me but, as you can imagine, I get asked that question all the time. What I usually say is that Marlie and I have a lot in common."
MM: "How much of her experiences reflect your own?
JW: "I grew up in the suburbs of Toronto and I loved music and I had lots of friends who are similar to Marlie's friends. But my high school life was not nearly as interesting as hers. First of all, I wasn't cool enough to be in a band at that age. And I had a hard time getting one date, let alone having the complicated love affairs that Marlie has. I also couldn't have lied to my parents as much as she does. I would have totally freaked out if I'd tried to be that deceptive! So I guess Marlie is someone I wish I could have been when I was in high school. Her charm and ferocity are qualities I'm very envious of."
"Marlie's experiences do reflect my life but not directly. Lots of bits of the book connect to things that have happened to me, but those events have been culled from my whole life, not just my high school life. And most of the elements of reality are twisted and fictionalized to the point where I feel they're hardly recognizable. But obviously my core beliefs echo Marlie's. And we have very similar tastes in music!"
MM: "Has your perception of the 'grrrl' scene changed in the fifteen years from the time that the book takes place and now? If so, how?" What were the best and worst things to come from that 'revolution'?"
JW:: I don't think the riot grrrl movement as it was in the 1990's exists anymore. It has morphed and grown into what I think of now as the Ladyfest movement. Most of the girls I know who identified as riot grrrls are now around my age. A lot of them are doing really fabulous, creative things with their lives. I think what really came out of that small, girly, cultural revolution was awareness. Riot grrrl married feminism and punk rock. It gave outspoken girls a network of support and made them feel less like they were yelling into a void. I think it taught a lot of young girls about feminism and politics and art and those girls grew into really amazing women by using the movement to give them strength."
"The great thing about the riot grrrl movement was that it really challenged patriarchy and didn't seek approval from anyone. It empowered women to write and make music and venture into areas previously dominated by men. For me, the Ladyfest culture falls flat a lot of the time. For many of those festivals and the communities that connect to them, revolution has become about what you spend your money on. I'm not saying that it's bad to support women who make crafts and clothing, and it certainly is better to buy from the lady next door than to buy from Walmart. What I worry about is that no one is questioning why we need all this stuff in the first place. And for me, I don't want to go to a feminist festival to buy a cute purse. I want to see women make music and art and listen to what they have to say and read their writing. And I really don't want to spend the whole time wondering if I'm wearing pretty enough shoes to fit in. I like clothing as much as the next person, but given the choice between shopping and seeing a band I'm always going to choose to see the band. Or read a book."