Turning Points
Quantum physics fascinates me. It's not that I know a light year from a light beer or have any clue what a quark is, but I've read enough science fiction to know that there might be alternate universes out there. I think that falls under the heading of quantum physics.
The multi-verse theory, as I understand it, goes along the lines of "every time you make a decision a new reality is formed." I can hardly comprehend such a possibility. Billions of people are making zillions of decisions every day, so the universe must be spinning out of control if it's true. I can't begin to wrap my brain around the full scale consequences of this theory, but I do often wonder how it affects me directly.
Is there a Carrie out there who decided to wear a skirt instead of a pair of jeans one day and is now a successful lawyer? Is there another Carrie who chose to date the seminary student who asked her out and is now a pastor's wife and mother of a brood of home-schooled children? How many Carries out there didn't decide to pursue a long-distance relationship with the silly Swedish guy she met online and are now miserable in their loneliness? I feel so sorry for those Carries! I want to somehow find a breach in the fabric of the universe and hand them my husband's e-mail address with a note that says "MARRY HIM!"
How much of our lives are destiny or fate or the will of God or whatever you want to call it? How much of our lives are the results of just pure dumb luck? Which seemingly small decisions would totally change every aspect of our lives if they were reversed?
Before I met my husband I acutely regretted my choice to become a high school English teacher. Why? I'd rage at myself, why, why, why? It was a miserable job and I continually kicked myself for dropping out of the science program my sophomore year of college. I could envision myself in a white lab coat, mixing up potions and avoiding crazed teenagers and their parents. It seemed so simple and easy. If I hadn't switched majors, I would be happy. X equals Y.
Then I met my husband. Our meeting was a direct result of my angst. I posted a sad little rant to my online book club and he replied. It took a year, but eventually we became inseparable. Three years later we were married. If I'd been happy, I never would have posted that rant. If I hadn't posted that rant, I wouldn't have my husband or our son. A plus B minus R equals Z. The thought makes my head spin!
I'm at a happy place in my life now and I no longer regret any of the paths I've trod down. They may have been full of potholes and mud puddles, but the paths have led to a loving husband and newborn babe. I wouldn't trade that for all the white lab coats in the world.
If the multi-verse is truly as vast as has been speculated, it's amazing that this particular Carrie, the only Carrie I know, has managed to bounce from turning point to turning point, decision to decision, and land exactly where she wants to be.