Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is a tricky thing. There's just so much to accept--looks, sexuality, intelligence, talent, wit, and on and on and on. If there's something that can be judged, you can bet there's someone out there bemoaning the fact that theirs isn't good enough, isn't big enough, isn't small enough, simply isn't enough.
Like many women, my biggest struggle for self-acceptance lies in my appearance. I like my dark hair and blue eyes, but would love to have my nose nipped and my stomach tucked. And that nasty mole on the back of my neck? It needs to be sliced off just as soon as I gather up the courage to have a doctor take a scalpel to my flesh.
Why can't we just accept ourselves at face value? We are constantly being flooded with messages that we aren't good enough. The media, our families, our supervisors, the random guy on the street: they all have something to say about how we live our lives, whether we want to hear it or not. It may be a passing comment about the size of our breasts, or it could be something even more direct and hurtful. All those things add up to self-image killers if we dwell on them.
I think I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't care much about what others think. I hate my body, but I've come to the point where I don't care if anyone else likes it or not. As I am so fond of saying, "if you don't like it, don't look."
Unfortunately, I have friends and family members who are still obsessed with what the world thinks. I look at them and wonder how they survive. I have always had an independent spirit and have done whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to do it. When I went off to school 2000 miles from home without knowing a soul, several of my high school buddies were stunned. They couldn't bring themselves to go to a college 200 miles away because they wouldn't know anyone. It always surprised me because they seemed so together and in charge. I guess self-acceptance just strikes different people in different ways.
Being a high school teacher taught me my biggest lessons about self-acceptance. Being a teacher is an interesting position. You're deeply involved in a micro-society but you aren't really a part of it. You aren't worried about popularity and high style; you're just there to teach. Instead of fretting about your status, you get to observe human nature. Here's the one thing I observed that I wish I could make every single shy person out there understand: unless you are a total freak, people aren't giving a second thought to your clothes or appearance. They are more worried about themselves. People will like you if you talk to them (in a normal way, not a psycho stalker way). You don't have to wear the latest styles, have a perfect body, or the perfect haircut (though you do have to bathe regularly and use deodorant). Be friendly without being clingy and you'll be the hit of the party. Don't bite your tongue when you have a witty comment to make. Say it out loud and everyone will laugh and think you're fun. It took me a long time to learn this lesson, but it has slowly transformed my life. Now, instead of being the shy girl in the corner I'm out having fun and interacting with people. That's all it takes.
I hope you enjoy this issue of Mosaic Minds. The staff and contributors have worked hard to write articles that both expose their insecurities and and explore solutions. And, of course, we have our usual array of crafts, travel, entertainment, food, and creative writing. We love feedback so let us know what you think by emailing us at editor@mosaicminds.net.